Work, work, work

So once again I have overloaded myself.  I am now taking two graduate level courses at UT Martin.  The first week was horrible.  I bombed everything.  But this week is a little better.  In one class I have to write a paper each week using three peer reviewed articles to support my information.  This has to be done in APA format which apparently I do not understand.  The first paper I wrote I got an 81.  My paper was full of formatting corrections.  But this week I tried a little harder on my formatting and got a 92.  So I am pretty happy with that.  An A is all I can ask for.  The other class I have we must do a chapter test each week.  The first test I took I made a 68.  But I learned where he gets his questions from so on the test this week I made a 93.  Once again an A so I will take it.  Maybe there is hope after all.  I keep telling myself that I only have 2 more years left and I will be completely done.  I do not believe that a Ph.D. is in my future.  I fully believe that I will stop after the Masters.  We will see what happens.

.....I started smoking again.  And have gained 20 pounds this month.  Stress is killing me.

Once again I have gotten myself over my head.  I have decided to go back to school and get my Masters degree.  I have been putting it off for the last 2 years but I really need to do something.  I am taking two classes this semester and I have a feeling it is going to take more than I have.  Both classes require a paper each week with lots of research on top of quizzes and discussion boards.  I kinds just coasted through my Bachelors and didn't really put a lot of work into it.  I am not saying that is wasn't difficult but I never really put any effort into it.  That all is about to change.  I keep telling myself that others can do it so I know I can.  Well I am going to give it my best shot.  I have my observation hours in the classroom coming up.  This will also give me a little taste of what teaching is like to see if that is something I want to pursue.  My Masters is going to be in School Counseling, but I was talking to the graduate coordinator for APSU's education department and she suggested that I go take a praxis exam and try to get hired on as a teacher with an alternative license.  She thinks that I am smart enough to pass the exam with taking any of the classes.  If I can do that then I would have to have a school system hire me and I would only have to take 6 graduate classes in education to become completely certified and licensed as a teacher.

The main reason I want to teach is to get out of the job I am in now.  I know I should be grateful to have a decent job but I can't help but be miserable there.  I have been on countless interviews over the last three years and still have not be able to get a job somewhere else.  I always get to the last round of interviews but yet I am never chosen.  It has gotten to the point where I am completely discouraged.  I would guess that my interviewing skills suck but if they did they wouldn't call me back for the second interview.  I know my main problem in the interviews is that I am way too honest.  They way I look at it, I am not going to kiss your ass and tell you how great I am and make up crap to make you hire me.  I go into it being myself.  I do play up my good qualities but I don't beg for the job.  If you don't like my answers then I don't need to be working for you anyways.  However, they don't seem to like this approach.  My mother asked me why I do this.  I told her if I go into an interview and tell them everything they want to hear even if I don't really believe it and they wind up hiring me then I would probably be in the same situation I am now where I don't like who I work for.  If I am straight up and tell them what I am looking for in a boss and they like my answers then maybe I can get a boss that I can get along with and be happy.

But for now I guess I will just try to go to school and get a different job.  That seems to be my only option at this moment.