Monday, September 16, 2013

Work, work, work

So once again I have overloaded myself.  I am now taking two graduate level courses at UT Martin.  The first week was horrible.  I bombed everything.  But this week is a little better.  In one class I have to write a paper each week using three peer reviewed articles to support my information.  This has to be done in APA format which apparently I do not understand.  The first paper I wrote I got an 81.  My paper was full of formatting corrections.  But this week I tried a little harder on my formatting and got a 92.  So I am pretty happy with that.  An A is all I can ask for.  The other class I have we must do a chapter test each week.  The first test I took I made a 68.  But I learned where he gets his questions from so on the test this week I made a 93.  Once again an A so I will take it.  Maybe there is hope after all.  I keep telling myself that I only have 2 more years left and I will be completely done.  I do not believe that a Ph.D. is in my future.  I fully believe that I will stop after the Masters.  We will see what happens.

.....I started smoking again.  And have gained 20 pounds this month.  Stress is killing me.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Once again I have gotten myself over my head.  I have decided to go back to school and get my Masters degree.  I have been putting it off for the last 2 years but I really need to do something.  I am taking two classes this semester and I have a feeling it is going to take more than I have.  Both classes require a paper each week with lots of research on top of quizzes and discussion boards.  I kinds just coasted through my Bachelors and didn't really put a lot of work into it.  I am not saying that is wasn't difficult but I never really put any effort into it.  That all is about to change.  I keep telling myself that others can do it so I know I can.  Well I am going to give it my best shot.  I have my observation hours in the classroom coming up.  This will also give me a little taste of what teaching is like to see if that is something I want to pursue.  My Masters is going to be in School Counseling, but I was talking to the graduate coordinator for APSU's education department and she suggested that I go take a praxis exam and try to get hired on as a teacher with an alternative license.  She thinks that I am smart enough to pass the exam with taking any of the classes.  If I can do that then I would have to have a school system hire me and I would only have to take 6 graduate classes in education to become completely certified and licensed as a teacher.

The main reason I want to teach is to get out of the job I am in now.  I know I should be grateful to have a decent job but I can't help but be miserable there.  I have been on countless interviews over the last three years and still have not be able to get a job somewhere else.  I always get to the last round of interviews but yet I am never chosen.  It has gotten to the point where I am completely discouraged.  I would guess that my interviewing skills suck but if they did they wouldn't call me back for the second interview.  I know my main problem in the interviews is that I am way too honest.  They way I look at it, I am not going to kiss your ass and tell you how great I am and make up crap to make you hire me.  I go into it being myself.  I do play up my good qualities but I don't beg for the job.  If you don't like my answers then I don't need to be working for you anyways.  However, they don't seem to like this approach.  My mother asked me why I do this.  I told her if I go into an interview and tell them everything they want to hear even if I don't really believe it and they wind up hiring me then I would probably be in the same situation I am now where I don't like who I work for.  If I am straight up and tell them what I am looking for in a boss and they like my answers then maybe I can get a boss that I can get along with and be happy.

But for now I guess I will just try to go to school and get a different job.  That seems to be my only option at this moment.