So much to do and so little time

I feel like I am being pulled in a million directions.  We just moved into a house and we are trying to unpack in the few hours we have between work and taking care of kids.  We lived with my mother-in-law for a year so we are also trying to get everything else out of my mother-in-laws house so her daughter and her family can move in.  Then I have to clean her house.  Plus taking care of my three kids full time and his two on the weekends.  But I am bringing some of this on myself.  I had plans to do laundry tonight but of course I call some friends and invite them over for dinner.  I also have scheduled a pampered chef party for this weekend at my house.  Even with nothing really unpacked and decorated.  Am I crazy?  Why am I doing this to myself?  I really just need to focus this weekend and get all the unpacking done because I have a feeling I will have even less time to work on this next weekend since I will have all my kids.  As an extra bonus to my life, my ex-husband is moving about 5 miles away from me.  This will be great for the children since right now he doesn't get to see them often because he lives a little over an hour away.  Now he will be able to get them just about any time he wants to see them.  It isn't going to be bad for me though because my and my ex get a long for the most part.  I just can't stand the woman he is with because she was the one he left me for.  But thankfully we stay out of each others life and only talk when it comes to the kids.  I have it good that way.  But I have a feeling my over-jealous husband is going to have issues with this.  He already things that my ex wants me back and can't stand that we get along so well.  I just hope that everything works out.

The horrible, no good, very bad day

So today my husband had to go to court over his parenting plan with his ex-wife.  Just a little history about this woman....She is completely psycho.  There are really no other words that would describe her perfectly like this one does.  She is the worst human being I have ever met in my life.  She doesn't care about her children and only wants the child support money.  He has two children with her.  She drops them off at the house randomly and pulls out of the driveway before she even sees them walk in the house.  She has no clue if we are home or not.  DCS has been called on her numerous times because of pills that were found in her car but nothing has happened.  She brings the children over in flip flops during the winter and most of the time the children are not wearing underwear or socks.  She receives child support regularly but uses it to get her nails and hair done.  She doesn't pay her bills.  The children have sometimes been with electricity and the house and car is under bankruptcy.  But apparently the judge in our area sees her as a fit mother.  They went today to court to revise the parenting plan and the judge took even more days away from my husband and ordered $160 more in child support every month.  I am so sick of this.  I guess our only option is to save up enough money for an awesome lawyer and drag her through the mud to get full custody of the children.  I don't know what the judge is thinking.  I feel bad for the kids because they are the ones that are going to hurt the most from this. 

It's sad but I believe I have become numb to all the random acts of violence in America.  I feel bad for the families of yesterday's tragedy in Boston, but it almost feels normal for me.  Really the only events that have sparked true emotions from me was the Sandy Hook school shooting.  And I think that was because I have children that age and my empathy went into overdrive because it could have been my children.  How has America become so full of hatred and malice?  I really believe it begins at home and the way you were raised.  How come I feel scared to discipline my children?  Why is the government so involved in our lives that we run the risk of having our children taken away by using a belt for punishment?  It almost makes me want to leave my homeland.  I want to go live in the peaceful vineyards of Italy away from everyone.  If only life were like it was 60 years ago when children were scared and respected elders.  It seems fitting that I should quote Anne Frank at this time.  "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."  This is true but they have to be shown the right way.  I was having a conversation with my son the other night.  He has been acting out at school and home lately.  When I asked him why he said his brain told him to do bad things.  I told him that was normal and everyone's brain tells them to bad things, but we have to listen to our heart and choose to do good.

Woe is Me

I think I have failed to mention that I absolutely hate my boss.  She is such a micro manager and never can make permanent decisions.  I work in an office with about 20 other people and she is over all of us.  We all can't stand her but no one will do anything about it.  We just sit and talk about her to each other to blow off some steam.  She is ex-military and she "leads" our office like that.  It is do as I say and don't ask questions.  First of all she doesn't know how to do any of our jobs.  You would think that she would ask our opinion sometimes but NO she just makes rash decisions and then we regret it later.  Because of some of her stupid ideas my department has had to work several hours of overtime.  Today she announced that we would work next Saturday all day.  It is mandatory.  I am trying to move and I had planned next Saturday to be the day we finally move everything in.  But now I will be scrambling all week after work to try to get things done.  I know you are probably thinking "if you are that miserable, then get another job".  I have been interviewing for the past 3 years and have not received one single offer.  I don't know what I am doing wrong, but apparently no one likes me.  I am a hard worker and do what I am told.  I have probably been on 20 different interviews over this time period.  I have even interviewed for jobs that I am way too qualified for in the hopes of getting out.  So until I can move on, I will just bite my tongue, continue to take my Zoloft and rant to my husband.  But I really hate the way she manages.  I have even thought about making a false email account and emailing her job opportunities as I find them in hopes that she will find one that she likes and leave.  I haven't gone that far.....yet.

Major Issues

So I have a huge problem.  My 2 year old son is fast as lightening and likes to go outside with no one knowing.  Today my husband went to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door.  I am upset but I don't blame him because it is very easy to leave it unlocked.  But my son goes out the front door.  By the time my husband realized he was gone my son was near a very busy road.  Luckily a passerby stopped and kept him from getting into the road until my husband could reach him.  I am so scared that something bad is going to happen and he will be hurt or even killed.  We are planning to move in about a week so I know that we can baby proof this house better than the one we are currently living in, but it is so scary to think what might have happened.  The new house is going to have a security system that will sound when the doors are open so I hope that will help alleviate the problem in the future, but we still have about a week or so of having to watch him like a hawk.

Differences

Have you ever just sat and watched people as they pass by?  At work I am sitting in a very public area for customer service purposes.  I am not going to go into how stupid I think this is because we never have anyone come to us with questions.  But for the last 4 hours I have been watching the different people come in and out.  Right now there is a white guy with dreadlocks walking along with an average looking white girl.  Not a combination you would expect, right?  But people can surprise you.  Generally I see nice looking people with other attractive people.  We have the tendency to attract and be attracted to like minded and looking individuals.  But when I see an attractive model type girl with a nerdy looking boy, it makes me feel better about the human race.  There are people out there that can see beyond looks.  Just because you don't dress the same way or have the same amount of money, people can still have a genuine attraction.  Me and my husband are examples of this.  We both come from middle class families but his choice of style is very different than mine.  Just today he texted me a picture of him in the mirror donning overalls.  I am attracted to this country boy even though we are completely different.  He enjoys being outside, working on cars, camping, riding horses, etc.  I on the other hand have never really had any interest in these activities.  I have always really been a homebody.  But because of our differences we have broadened each others experiences.  He teaches me things about farming and I can teach him things about how people think.  I am a sociology major so the inner workings of the mind and how environment affects people are my passion.  I have helped him understand people and learn to deal with issues.  We don't always work well together but who does?  So next time you see that geeky boy or redneck, give him a shot.  Who knows he might just be your prince charming.

By the way...My nephew got engaged!!!